


A Fairy's Tale

by BustedBrain



Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: Belligerent Fairy, Crack, F/M, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:01:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24984991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BustedBrain/pseuds/BustedBrain
Summary: What do I even say about this little bit of nonsense crack attack that for as short as it is took a ridiculous amount of time to write.This was written for the Labyrinth Fan Fic Lovers anniversary challenge to see events of the movie through the eyes of a character other than Jareth or Sarah.I chose fairy number '57' who I have named Mavvy. Remember this is the Labyrinth and nothing is what it seems, even a sweet little fairy.
Relationships: Fairy/Brownie
Comments: 15
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

If you were to look up the definition of a fairy tale in the Cambridge English Dictionary you would find:

Fairy Tale  
noun [ C ]  
UK /ˈfeə.ri ˌteɪl/ US /ˈfer.i ˌteɪl/  
(UK also fairy story)  
a traditional story written for children that usually involves imaginary creatures and magic

Mavvy on the other hand, would laugh in your face and tell you that sounds like some prissy bitch crock of shit. Yes, this is the tale of a fairy. No, this is not for the eyes or ears of young human babes. Lastly, both the creatures and the magic are as real as the nose on your face.

Now for curiosity's sake, say you live under a rock, you may be wondering as to what exactly is a fairy? Once again you would get two very different answers. If we flip the pages of the old faithful Cambridge English Dictionary once more we will find:

Fairy  
noun [ C ]  
UK /ˈfeə.ri/ US /ˈfer.i/  
an imaginary creature with magic powers, usually represented as a very small person with wings

Mavvy, bless her vicious soul, would prefer that you know that a fairy is not a very small person with wings. A fairy is not small at all, but rather as Mavvy puts it, and I quote “You ugly cunts are fucking humongous.” 

Let’s just say our dear sweet Mavvy is not for the faint of heart. 

If you were to ask any fairy they would all tell you, never turn your back on a fairy. A fairy will shank a bitch as soon as look at her. Yes looks can be deceiving, those cherub features, diaphanous wings and the sweet tinkling sound of bells that beings of lower intelligence hear, because their useless brains aren't capable of understanding the fairy language. Fairies are creatures of magic with a song in their heart and an aching need burning in their loins. They are incredibly foul mouthed and randy creatures that have two things on the brain at all times, fighting and fucking. If you were to ask their preference they would tell you their favourite thing to do is to fight while fucking. Fairy mating season is an absolute blood bath.

As our story begins, Mavvy is on her way to what is commonly referred to as a booty call.

. . .

Mavvy certainly had a song in her heart that day, as she flew towards the entrance to the Labyrinth, eyes peeled for that fucking twat waffle of a Dwarf. She had to dodge that leather faced douche canoe twice last week alone. As she flew she sang her song, with thoughts swimming in her head of all the nasty things Barnabas was going to do between her thighs. Oh, that Brownie knew how to play her body like a fiddle. 

His tongue was as sharp as it was useful when she had her legs wrapped around his head. His preferred route of verbal sparring was crudely insulting one's mother. Last time she was late for one of their rendezvous, he went on a 40 minute rant while calling her mother every name in the book and half the barnyard, as he took her every which way against the stone wall outside his home, under the paths of the stone maze. She squeezed her thighs together to try to dull the ache in her pussy that came with that memory.

“La la, la la, la,  
Warm it up,  
La la, la la, la,  
The Brownie’s waiting,” she sang, as she reminisced. 

Did they ever give those guards with their heads for their asses a show that day, as she screamed out, “Lick my fart box, you fucking walloper.” Right before Barnabas dove in with gusto and made her cum for the fourth time. Oh how she could relive that memory again and again.

“My milkshake brings all the Brownies to the yard,  
And they're like, it's better than yours,  
Damn right it's better than yours,  
I can teach you, but I have to charge,  
My milkshake brings all the …”

“Fifty-seven.” Said a gruff voice triumphantly.

“Argh!” Blind, she was blind. Her wings instantly froze leaving her to plummet to the ground below. Landing with a bone shattering crash, only to have dirt kicking in her face, stealing what little of her breath was left. Her body shuddered and twitched, her every nerve responding to the vile spray. 

She’d kill that fucking Dwarf, gut him and mount his balls over her fireplace, if it was the last thing she did. 

“Oh, how could you?” She heard a voice say in disgust. Female she suspected by the sound of it.

The Dwarf only grunted in reply as he continued shuffling along, moving farther away from her crumpled body. Hunting for more of her kin.

Pain, so much pain, her legs had to have broken when she crashed to the ground. At least she still had use of her arms, she thought, as she noted a different, lighter set of footsteps come near. 

“Poor thing!” She felt her body rise as she was cupped by what she expected to be hands aiming to squish her, planning on finishing that cum guzzling Dwarfs half assed attempt to end her existence. No way was she going down without a fight. 

“You monster.” The female said. She could definitely tell it was a female now that her vision was clearing. Using her arms, she pushed herself into a sitting position to look into the face of the one who was possibly about to end her life. Long dark hair and big green eyes, what a repulsive creature. Perhaps she was here to mate with that worm ridden fleabag of a Dwarf. Ugh that thought made her nauseous, she needed to get far away from them before that happened. She was all for watching a good show but no one needed to see these grotesque meat sacks slapping together. 

Mavvy took her chance and bared her sharp teeth, quickly sinking them deep into the flesh of the female. The taste of hot coppery blood filled her mouth as she bit down hard with everything she had in her. Fuck she tasted even worse than she looked.

“OH! It bit me.” The female gasped in what sounded like disbelief, as Mavvy once again fell towards the hard ground. Landing with a sickening crunch she screamed in agony, tears streaming down her face. If both legs weren’t broken from the first crash, they were definitely broken now.  
She heard the bastard Dwarf give a chuckle before he gruffly replied. “What did you expect fairies to do?”

“Of course I bit you, you stupid cunt. Pick me up again and see what fucking happens to ya next you maggot covered shit stain.” Mavvy screamed, quickly wiping the tears that tracked down her face. 

“I thought fairies did nice things, like... like granting wishes” She heard the female reply, in a tone that bellied her ruined childhood.

“Grant wishes? I’ll grant you a wish alright, ya fucking thunder cunt bog gas chute faced bootlicker, you’ll lose a fucking eye here in a minute, just like that cock-womble fox terrier did...just as soon as everything stops spinning.” Getting worked up reminded her that she was still under the effects of that face full of spray, courtesy of that fuck faced wanker of a Dwarf.

“Ha! Shows what you know then, don’t it.” She heard his feet give a quick shuffle “Fifty eight.” Fuck he took out another fairy. Hopefully that one fared better than she did.

By army crawling she managed to drag herself to the outer wall and under a low lying leaf. Hidden among the tall grass and vines she was able to take stock of her injuries. Nothing looked out of place, no bones protruding or looking like they needed set. Times like these she was thankful that the magic within her made for speedy recoveries from injuries. She’d be right as rain in a day or two. 

That snot licking, mouth breathing, tosser completely fucked up her night of unbridled passion with Barnabas. 

“That moose knuckle faced Dwarf's mother should have done the whole Underground a favour and swallowed. Barnabas will be in one foul mood with a raging case of blue balls. He’ll be going on about everyone's mother but mine.” She said with a petulant huff. Pulling some grass from close by she made herself a bit more comfortable. It would be some time before she could fly back home and a bit longer then still before her legs would be up for any vigorous attention from her favourite, most deliciously fuckable Brownie. Lots of time to plot her revenge.

“Your balls will definitely decorate my mantle for this Dwarf. Just you fucking wait and see.”


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Fairy’s Tale always needs an ending.

If you were to look up the definition of revenge in the Cambridge English Dictionary you would find:

Revenge  
noun [ U ]  
UK /rɪˈvendʒ/ US /rɪˈvendʒ/  
harm done to someone as a punishment for harm that they have done to someone else

When Mavvy was asked her take on what revenge meant she answered, “ Eye for an eye cocksuckers. Just ask that furry sack of shit who guards the bridge in the bog or that cum bucket Dwarf. He fucked up my booty call for the last time. Cockblock me? Heh! Fucking eunuch runs screaming like a little bitch when he sees a fairy coming now.”

As you can see, Mavvy is still the same joyous ray of sunshine we first met.

Our story picks up several weeks after we last left off.

. . .

The glowing light of the fire danced on the walls and sparkled on the long strands of curling fuzz that covered the scraggly jizz berries mounted on the wall over the stone fireplace.

A luxurious hamster skin rug lay plush and warm in front of the hearth with two naked bodies entangled together upon it. 

“It’s hard to get in the mood to munch on that whisker biscuit with that giant fracken fuzzy man purse over my head. Do you really need to keep those in the house?” Barnabas asked, as he toyed with Mavvy’s dirty love pillows, alternating between pinching and licking their pebbled peaks.

“What the fucks the problem?” Mavvy said with an annoyed huff, drawing up onto her elbows to bring herself face to face with the object of her lustiest thoughts these last long weeks. This night was a long time coming while she healed from her injuries, plotted and enacted her most satisfying revenge. Then came all the parades and celebrations night after night with her as the guest of honour in her triumph over that fuck faced wanker of a Dwarf. When all that was said and done she still had all the effort she put into washing, washing again, washing some more, drying and mounting the wizzled up old cum sack. Those big hairy bollocks were 10 times wrinklier than the face of the ugly thundercunt she cut them off of. She’d earned this night of hot sweaty passion and explosive release and here this knuckle dragging knob goblin was being a whiny little shit stain. “They don’t smell half as fucking bad as they did before I dried them out in the sun for a few weeks.”

“Frack Mavvy, it’s not just the smell that’s the problem.” He growled, scrubbing his hands through his hair in frustration. He knew this was a losing battle, once Mavvy had her bull headed mind set on something it would take all the King’s magical abilities and then some so change her mind. She was a true force to be reckoned with. Brownies just didn’t have that magical power. Hell the best shot he had was to fuck her brains out and try to get her to agree to get rid of the bog damned hideous things while her mind was still a post coital puddle of goo.

“You got something to bitch about, lets fucking hear it so we can get this show on the road. This meat sleeve has a mighty fucking hankering for that corned beef torpedo.” Mavvy slowly ran the tip of her tongue along her lip while arching her back and began to rub herself in a tempting show to speed things up and get his thoughts back between her legs where they belonged.

“I want the only balls you pay any attention to to be mine. You act like that big hairy beanbag is the most valuable fracken prize in the world. What about deez nutz?” He took hold of her hand from between her legs and cupped it around his balls applying gentle pressure, urging her to massage his sack.

“Listen up cause I’m only gonna say this once. Deez here nutz,” She gave a little tug to make her point known. “ Are gonna be slapping off my ass here as soon as you quite being such a whiny fucking twat. Those hairy pork dumplings up there will be on my wall till my dying day. I fought hard to get them and came way too close to that warty pickle to not have my spoils of war. I’m a the biggest fucking hero to this whole mother fucking village and even all the surrounding shit bag villages has ever known. I’m the only one to teach that cocksucker Hoggle that fairies are not to be fucked with. You don’t like it you can fuck right off out of here and find yourself a new cock socket to slam you clam hammer in.” 

“ Fine, you don't gotta be like that. Your bearded clam is the only place I wanna jam my quimstick. But if you insist on keeping that curly yam bag, at least get out the hedge clippers and trim it up a bit. One fracken spark and that thing will light up like a bonfire on Beltane. Have fun airing that smell out of this place if that happens.” 

“It’s staying as is, what do I fucking look like to you, a bog damn nut sack stylist? Next you’ll be wanting me to decorate it with little bows and flowers or other bits and bobs. Fuck off with ya and mind your own fucking business. I got better things to do than waste my time getting it through your thick fucking skull that my prize ain’t fucking going nowhere.” She gave him a shove and as she made to stand, pushing herself into a seated position. 

“Fine, fine, simmer the frack down.” He soothed, running his hands up her arms before pulling her closer. “Now get that slutty, cock loving, cooter over here so I can introduce you to my slut slayer, you filthy whore.” He said with all the charm of a shit covered boot.

BAM!

Barnabas’ face exploded with pain as Mavvy popped him right in the nose with a sickening crunch. Blood immediately started gushing down his face in two thick streams.

“You broke my fricken nose. What the frick Mavvy?!?”

“Oi Who are you calling a slut and filthy whore you cum guzzling maggot? Get the fuck outta my house, you and your slut slayer can go fuck a fire ants nest and soothe the burn with a dip in a vat of lamp oil. I ain’t no ones whore, you can take your slut shaming carcass and go choke yourself on a rancid bog gator cock for all I give a shit.” 

Mavvy quickly moved to stand behind him, grabbed a hold of the hair on the back of his head with one hand and reached up in between his legs to get a vice tight hold on his cobblers with the other. With a twist of her wrist he let out a startled yelp and she led him to the door like a hand puppet. At the door she released her hold on his hair to open the door and she promptly kicked him square on his naked arse forcing him to land in a blood soaked heap in the dirt outside her little cottage as she threw clothes out after him. Scoring the final point when one of his boots hit him square between the eyes.

“What the frack Mavvy, don’t be like this.” He mumbled with his hands cupping his busted, bloody face. 

“Like this? Oh you must mean a strong independent fairy who won’t be slut shamed by anyone, especially the likes of you. Not even his fucking Nibs would get away with that shit. You are about as low on my list as the jam between the junk ladies rancid fucking toes. How about you go fuck yourself with a pineapple.” At that she slammed the door and went to the cupboard to pour herself a big glass of fairy wine only to stop short to turn and yank the door back open to see Barnabas gathering his clothes with one hand. 

“Oh and by the way, I’ve had better lays with imps, you walking sack of goblin excrement.” With a final mighty slam she latched the door behind her putting a final end to that part of her life. With her chin held high she strutted in all her naked glory to get herself that glass of fairy wine.

“ My milkshake brings ALL the mother fucking Brownies to the yard. Not just that worthless fucking slut shaming tosser. I hope he takes my advice and really does choke himself on a bog gator cock.” She said with a smirk as she tossed back the cool sweet liquid in one go. “This fairy is nobody's fucking whore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't think it was possible but I managed to bang out the last of this ... whatever this is in under 24 hours.
> 
> My two cents on slut shaming, don't do it and don't put up with it. Women's bodies are their own and we all have the right to do with them as we please. 
> 
> Thanks again to the members of LFFL who helped me when I was drawing absolute blanks again. You folks are the meat to my potatoes... haha potatoes. I think I might have made a funny.
> 
> Any hoo, hopefully I'll be back soon-ish with updates on my other fics. They are not forgotten its just been a rough go trying to write.
> 
> Once again for those in the back
> 
> Black Lives Matter
> 
> and 
> 
> FUCK Trump

**Author's Note:**

> Well that's that then. 
> 
> Yes I'm alive. For anyone waiting for an update on my other fics I'm getting closer to some updates. The BustedBrain has been extra busted rather than original recipe busted and writing time has been damn hard to come by with everything going on.
> 
> I hope everyone is keeping well in these strange times.
> 
> A quick thanks to a few fellow scribes, beloved authors and most fabulous of humans, bowie_queen, ViciouslyWitty and Telcontarian for helping me with bouncing ideas and filling in blanks.
> 
> And in closing I'd like to say: 
> 
> Black Lives Matter 
> 
> and 
> 
> Fuck Trump


End file.
